Long day at work

Long and busy at work today and didn't have time to writing about Saturday. Also my Latino boy came by after work (not boi - don't know what the hell that means) and we did it on the floor of my office, and I realize that rug burns are never fine.

Gay meter?

Here is an example of how gay or not I am.

Picture a 35 year old body builder laid out on the floor naked me sucking his nipples and my dick in his mouth, his 9.5" cock in my hand.

Got the picture? What would you do in a situation like this? I can tell you that I did something,different but I don't have time today to write it all out, you'll have to wait.

3some for Real

I can now say that I have been in a three way, with two other guys. It happened over lunch today, and has been planned for about three days. Just enough time to get nervous. To make things go smoother, I met with one of the guys yesterday for a trial run, seeing how things were going to go and what was going to fit where. The trial run was good, because today was the first time I had met the other guy. Its always kind of odd for me to meet a guy and within a few minutes to be naked and have my cock in his mouth, but that is what pretty much happened today.


Two guys on my cock, the I sucked  the new guys cock, and he was topped, but not by me, I was busy putting my cock in his mouth repeatedly, then when I got close to coming, I started jacking myself while both my balls were in the new guys mouth, that was a first, felt great. I came on his upper chest, and then he came. The other guy mean while kept pumping his ass, as my cock when back into his mouth, when the tip is at its most sensitive, making me quiver in pleasure, almost laughing.


Then clean up, shower, small talk and back to work. Over all a great way to spend my lunch hour.

Clowns?

I've always clowns kind of creepy. Anyone that puts on makeup to conceal themselves to be funny is something that I've never really enjoyed, but then I found these images online. Now I stuck between something I like to look at and something that is kinda creepy.

This reminds me of an HBO program that my wife and I caught several years ago documenting clown sex, where people (male and female) dress up as clowns then have an orgy. Same feeling, like watching a train wreak, I don't want to look, but I cant turn my head away, and after wards I wish I hadn't seen it, but go back anyway. If I saw these guys in real life I know that I would head the opposite way and avoid them as best I could.

Online Hookups or I've become "that asshole online"

Every time I'm online looking at the profile of other guys, I keep thinking that this is like being in a large room, where a flash of light occurs periodically giving you an insight in the guy your chatting with only when there is a flash of light.

Example; I'm chatting with a guy, everything seems to be going toward meeting him somewhere, then I go back and review his profile and I see something there that is a huge red flag for me. Something that is going to turn me from chatting to this guy to becoming one the of those assholes that suddenly drop off the site. I'm sure the other guy is wondering what he said to make me run, I know I've wondered about guys that suddenly stop talking to me. Was it something that I said, I never mentioned gerbils, anything perverted, or unsafe. Was it that quirky little fashion fetish that I have, when I ask them a personal question that seems to have no relevance to the chat that is between us.

Bottom line, is that I have been the asshole that I have been on the receive end of. I'm starting to learn that everyone does it, don't take it personal, and wait. After a few weeks, its a fresh world in the online hookup places. Everyone has a short memory, and sometimes I am glad of that. At the same time I also need to keep track of the duds that I have come across to keep from being "that asshole" in the future.

What I want out of this.

I think I now know what I want out of all this online connections with other guys. It really quite simple and probably selfish on my part.

Its a Monday night, I have a bit of time to play with other guys, and there is no one that seems to be available to suck my cock or let me fuck them. Is that really to much to ask to have someone on speed dial that has a place, near me and will let me come by and fuck them, after some notice of course.

I don't really want to just sit here and jack off, I also know that if I lower my standards, don't tell the whole truth, that I could find some sucker on craigslist that would be willing to take my dick in tonight, but would rather jack off than do that.

I haven't been doing this long enough to have a regular guy to call, and don't know how long it takes to get a regular guy on call. I wonder if its going to take several guys on call, so that on different days, I can call different guys. I'll see how this goes, maybe I'll find someone, or realize that what I started with is the best thing for me.

Labels

If there weren't labels for everything from sand to space, the world would not run as efficient as it does, but the same time when an individual is labeled, sometimes that shapes and forms the outcome of that person even if the label is wrong.

What brought this up was the news program that I saw recently about the princess boy in Seattle. Now I have to admit that when I was young, I had sisters who had ballerina or dance stuff / tutus, and one day I wore one of these in the yard with others, and there were photos taken. I wasn't embarrassed, it was just something funny and fun to do. I think in a sense that it did label me, but as to what effect it had on my up bringing I couldn't say, though I am here writing about this now.

Back to the princess boy, what is going to happen to him when he starts to hit puberty and his hormones start to tell him that girls are in his future, but his family and friends are all princess sympathizers? So once'd labeled, how difficult is it to change that label or ignore that label. From experience there are people that have labeled me and have been quite surprised to see me in a different way, its like they knew me one way and didn't really like me in another way.

3Some?

Is it wrong to think that I can have a three-way with two other guys that if you added their ages together would still be less than my age? I've gotten together with the one guy before, and now he's got his friend coming over. Does it make it any weirder that I know one of the guys parents, and that said three-way would be at his house. For now, I have to say that I can't make it over there, though my dick really does want to be there. I guess in this case, experience wins over an erection. I'll just have to imagine what could have been, and in the future might be.

Fun in the Office after hours

This is what usually happens in my office about 5:30, after everyone else has left the office, I'm all alone with an internet connection. You have to use your left hand to jerk, as the right hand is operating the mouse. Before the internet came along I was a right handed jerker, now left, it was odd at first, but now I'm an ambidextrous jerker.

One of the interesting things that I've noticed about myself after getting out and exploring man to man sexual contact is that when I'm in a retail situation, I'm starting to looking at the clerks, and others at cash registers and imagine them dressed as above. I don't know if its a power thing, or a repressed flirting, or what, but its something that I've never done before and after seeing a few guys naked, looking at at stranger at the checkout line like there standing there in their underwear gives me a bit of confidence in myself.

If the guys in the shoe department have to wear nice shoes, and the guys in the suit department have to wear suits, then the guys in the underwear department should wear only underwear. If that were the case, my peripheral vision would greatly improve as I couldn't just stare at them, but would want to see as much as possible.

The Male Tramp Stamp

I've want to know what if anything the lower back tattoo on a male means if anything.

My mind is saying that the person who would put a tattoo on a part of there body that most potentially a male partner would see more so than themselves see, might use it like I would use a welcome mat at my front door. Some that I have see online are very blatant, going so far as to put words on there lower back informing any potential reader that the hole below is open for play, please insert. Now I know that people get tattoos for as wide variety or reasons as there are people on the planet, but is there any meaning to be read into a lower back tattoo?

I'm asking because my penis caught a glimpse of one last night, in the dark before being shoved into a hole, but thats a story for a later time.

The "WAR EAGLE" guy I can imagine needs something in that area to distract from the "no ass" look he is sporting. Interesting, was that in my search online for images, found no lower back tattoo on any body that was largely overweight.

Why White underware?

I don't know why this is, but you put a guy in a pair of tight white underware, commonly called tighty whities, and may dick will usually get hard.

Sexual History

How much sexual history is proper to go over when you first meet a guy? Does one just hit the highlights? tight ass, great cock sucker, hot body, or does one chronologically go through each guy that one has had some sort of sexual relations with over the past few months?

I've gone from monogamy to what ever the hell I am now in the matter of one hundred and five days. I'm not promiscuous because it takes more that a nice smile, good personality, and a hot body to get my dick out of my pants, but usually if we get to the point where I'm looking at a hot body, my dick has already found its own way out of my pants.

Back to the original question, how much does one divulge of past partners, and does a quick blowjob from a guy you'll never see again count?

Past Memories

The more I think about how I have masturbated to the male image in the past the more I remember from my past. When I was just starting high school, my sister somehow got hold of a playgirl magazine. Featured that month was "Jim Davis," this was possible the first male nude in a porn type publication that I had ever seen. The one thing that I realize now is that sometimes things are best left as memories, and no need to rehash them, because it starts to distort the memories. I remember more about my sisters reaction to the name of this model, than I remember looking at the model or masturbating to these images, though I do remember sneaking into her room, and finding out where she had hidden the magazine, and taking a look. Memory is a tricky thing and from here on out I don't want reality messing up fond memories of my youth.

The End of Masturbation as I know it

Being alone and masturbating seems to be pointless.

Masturbating with another guy can be hot and very safe.

Masturbating by myself with online porn, then meeting someone and not being able to perform because I'm already spent, embarrassing.

I'm not as young as I once was and trying to cum more than three times in a single day can become a matter of mind over me pounding the hell out of my cock till it gives it up.

Well it's one more day with my profile.

I tweaked my profile to read that if you just wanted sex, to move along. It's suprising how many people that turns on and want sex with you. I guess it the rare commodity that gets the value. Anyway, I've chatted up with a guy most of Saturday morning, and very little was said about cocks, or meeting up. Most of the conversation was about riding bikes on the local trails. Now granted I've riden my road bike on the trails for years and when ever a fast biker passed me, I tended to speed up, to keep in the draft as well as getting a close view of his ass and legs in the lycra bike shorts. Now to have one of those guys ride with me, and if we stop to take a piss on the aide of the rode, to show off to one another. I admit that it makes me kinda hard thinking about that, so another case of dick winning out to brain.

Robert Förstemann, A German track cyclist and Olympian Imagine following him on the road.

Why do I still have my profile?

Friday nite, online, after the wife has gone to sleep, and chatting with a guy. This is good connection so far, he has a place, he's in town, it could become a regular thing. Now time to seal the deal, and BOOM. What the fuck just happened? Did I say something that suddenly makes this guy run away? Has the guy died on the other end? Why do from full speed to zilch in a matter of seconds. I'm going to wear my dick out going from hard to soft to hard to soft to semi hard to limp to giving up the ghost. Wow, I have the super power to kill a connection before its even made, like a force field around me, get to close and someone might die.

Any idea why this happens, and is it just me, or is this common?

To end or not to end my online Profile

I was driving across the state that I live in the other day (on business) and the whole time I was thinking that I just need to delete my online profile. Every time I look online, its the same guys. The one that always messages me wanting to suck my cock again, (not unless I'm desperate.) The guys that I would like to get to know a bit better, who never return my emails (come on guys, I'm not ugly and I have a big cock, whats up?) Then there are all the other guys that maybe I think I'm to good for them, or they have a quirk in their profile of picture that raises a red flag with me.

I just have to realize that the guy of my dreams, is just that, in my dreams, and see if any of the connects that I have made are going to work out. So its just a matter of days before I delete my profile, I just want to give the good looking guy a chance to respond to my email. Ten days I've waited, he could be on vacation, he'll respond when he gets back, I know he will. I have a feeling this time that his vague pic and my vague pic, is going to make the difference and we are going to be good friends. [yeah right]

RELIGION KILLS

Throughout history, more people have died, or been killed in the name of one god or another that disease. So when someone tells me that they are religious, I know that they are only one step away from kill me, or people that I know in cold blood. 

Lets step back in time to the 1200's  Albigensian Crusades, and the pope at the time, and the catholic church wanted to eliminate the Cathar heresy in Languedoc. How did the church know who were the heretics and who were god fearing catholics? they didn't thus the phrase "Caedite eos! Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius" – "Kill them [all]! Surely the Lord discerns which [ones] are his",. or more simple, "kill them all, and god will sort them out." This was a time when the catholic church killed entire cities filled with people, because there were heretics in the city.

Jump ahead a hundred years, and we have the crusades where it was strongly encouraged by the church to travel to the east to kill heretics in the name of god and the church. The inquisition was formed because it was to difficult to travel to kill heretics in the east when there were plenty to kill in their own backyard. This went on till the 19th Century. 

Its not over even to this day, if you were to ask a stupid redneck about the Islam religion and the answer you hear would probably not be much different from something that you would have hear in the 13th Century. And why, if Allah is all about peace and goodwill, are people willing to die and kill others in his name even today? The solution would be to ban all religion, but suggesting that would probably get me killed.

I want to point out that faith in God and/or a Higher power is not something that I am questioning here, its the organization and peoples interpretation of the word of their god, especially if there is danger to my life because I have a different belief.

Ban on that self-righteous chicken place

I won't even say the name, but because they chose to support a system that specifically excludes certain people in society from equal rights, then I don't have to buy their products, and others with similar thinking should also not buy their products.

In America, the power of the dollar is the greatest power that there is, and the people with the most of them don't want the people with the least of them to realize that collectively they would be overpowered. If everyone reading this would ban that chicken place, the one that is always closed on Sundays, and get their friends to ban also, and if everyone truly did this, the place would close down. The chicken place knows that when it comes to hunger and convenience, that hunger always wins over morals. In this day and age, don't let that happen, there are other places, usually right next door, that can satisfy the same hunger for a piece of chicken.

One Wrong Word

Is it just me or when I'm chatting with someone on one of the hook-up sites, things feel like there are moving toward a face to face meeting. I almost always want a face to face to allow one of us the out, before we take any step into each others personal space. In the chats, everything seems to be moving forward, then I type the equivalent of my foot in my mouth statement and then nothing.

I sometimes wonder if the guy on the other end just decided that that was the thing that turned me from a hot guy to a cold weirdo. To make me feel better, I tell myself that the zombie apocalypse has started and he was the first victim, or that, people have intruded on his personal space and he had to shut everything down to keep the bad people from finding out that he was chatting with me.

The reality is that even I have to stop things in mid sentence sometimes, due to work, visitors, or just the call of nature, its not going to stop my imagination from thinking the worst about what I wrote, or what is happening on the other end of the broken connection.

Also in my minds eye, all the guys that I chat with online look like this, its amazing what a good photographer can do to the male body to make everyone look hot.

Others questions If its gay

found these Steamroom Stories, funny.

The Heart wants, the Cock gets?

The other day, I'm at work and online checking things out. and before I know it I've got a IM window open taking about a three way with these two guys. They tell me they don't do this off, and had just created a profile for the day to see what is out there. After some more back and forth, a few pictures, my dick is hard and the only thing my brain in working on is where are these guys at, how long will it take me to get there, and can I put my work off for a few hours. With my dick in the lead at this point, the answer comes easy to all the above questions, and before I know it I'm out the door with a few condoms in my pocket, there address in my head, and boner between my legs. Was it the right decision? not if my brain had a say so in the matter, but my cock was in control and now I have to find some sort of justification for these guys being in my life. The great thing about the brain is that it can justify anything, so now I can sleep without guilt, in my own little delusional world, that is getting bigger by the day.

What, Porns not REAL?

In my limited experience, I have come to the conclusion that what I see in porn and what is on craigslist, are two different worlds
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I've always know that straight porn is not real, because I know for a fact that a women doesn't suddenly go from wondering what time it is to wanting a large cock up her ass in a matter of minutes, that takes years, and may still never happen. Still the faces and the dress of most men and women are such that even walking down the street you can image that everyone for the most part has rockin' body hidden beneath their clothes. The exception is most of the people who frequent "Wal Mart," those people are in a fucking world of their own demented eating habits and not for me.

Part of the reason I thought that gay porn was going to be more realistic than straight porn was that most men that I see around town, don't look ugly, you through out the fat ones, the overly thin ones, and the homely ones and you still have a large pool of guys on the market. The other thing is that I have an 8" cock, so seeing the guys in porn, I always thought that I was average, to a bit small, in size.

In porn, both straight, gay or bi, the "money shot" is the cumulation of the all the scenes. Where the top pulls out and jacks all over the back of the other guy. In real life theres no one there to clap when this is done, and it usually ends the encounter if it is done. If you want the encounter to go on and on, there is no "money shot" in real life, I wonder if a gay guy first discovered tantric sex?

New Years Resolutions

I've made resolutions in the past and I have never been able to keep them, so now try not to make resolutions. I do how ever have goals that I try to start and obtain. The problem with resolutions is that you want to change or make things better and you want it to start on the first of January, yet by the seventh of January, they are forgotten. My goals always start small. I say to myself if I do this, I can do or get that. Then the next step and so on. I do periodically revise my goals, eliminating the ones that are no longer possible, and the ones that I realize now that I never really needed or wanted or needed in the first place.

I once had a goal of developing a company that had more than fifty employees. Now I realize that that would have been a hassle, cut into my private time, and not allowed me to travel as much as I have. I'm glad that never happened, but along the way I learned what I really wanted in business and life.

I also have a recurring goal of learning to speak Italian, yet every time I visit that county I realize that knowing the little Italian that I have and gesture I can understand and be understood for most everything that I need, while in Italy.

So bottom line, I make and revise a list of goals all the time and strive to take small steps for everything that I want. If you feel that you have to make resolutions, make them small, like my resolution this year will be to make at least one blog post, and if you've gotten this far, you now know that I have fulfilled my New Years Resolution.

PS: as a side note, this was posted on 1/1/11 at 1:11am