Why am I Doing This - 002

Not getting any younger.

I messed around with one guy in college, just some harmless, naked in the bed, him playing with my cock, me wondering why his cock was so different from mine kind of thing. He asked if I would I would fuck him, and I asked if he had a condom. I asked for the condom because I didn't know anything about the butt, other than it was where poo came from, and I didn't want shit all over my cock. It was a one time thing, he has since gone on to bigger and better gay things, and we keep in touch still to this day, That night was never discussed between us ever again, as there was also the awkward feeling between us for a while that stopped us from talking to one another for about a year.

Cut to right now, and I'm a different person than I was then. Getting to mid-life or beyond mid-life puts a different perspective on things, and what I once wouldn't do for some stupid reason, I don't have a problem with now. I think that everyone have to come to some realization on this matter at some point in their lives, or the guilt is going to keep them from ever exploring their curiosities when it comes to sex and another man.

Back to not getting any younger, I've been viewing bi and gay for for a few years, and realized that if I were to wait, I'd be some old ass troll that no one would give the time of day to (not to demean older guys, but sometimes I can be pretty stupid when it comes to things.) So last summer I just went for it, met a guy on CL when to house he had, and we showed each our our cocks, didn't touch, or do anything more. On a side note that is when I realized the by internet standards, I have about a 12" penis, cause it that guy had a 7" cock, then my measurement had to be off by a few inches. That first encounter happened in July, and it was December before a second encounter with another guy happened.

There are times, recently, that I wonder if I'm acting like a slut when it comes to getting with guys, and to me that means that I've met and let another guy suck my cock more than three times in a month. I keep telling myself that I have not regrets, but I guess that really remains to be seen. I'm enjoying what I'm doing, and maybe there are other guys that are more cautious than me, cause there are things I've read that other married guys do that I would never consider doing, but I'm walking a line that I hope is not to thin and doesn't come to an abrupt end in the near future.

Bigger than Mine

If this guy has never had his own cock in his mouth, then he's a fucking moron who probably deserves a cock like this. Having a large cock is not the panacea that many guys with smaller cocks thinks it is. You always hear guys, and maybe this is just straight guys, saying that they wish they had a large cock. Personally I'm a grower, not a shower, so no comments were directed to me in the locker room during my formative years, but the one guy that was a shower with a large cock, he took some heat from the other guys. He had what the other guys thought that they wanted and they made fun of him for it.

Let me tell you that when someone looks at your cock and makes some comment about how they don't think its going to fit, that is not something that endears horniness to a situation, more like a buzz killer. I do know that if my cock was this large, I would probably have it in my mouth as much as possible.

If anyones says that they don't think it would fit, their are going to find out exactly how it will fit. Their head face down in the pillow should cover up their screams, but really we all know that the screams are of pleasure anyway, so STFU and take it like a man.

Get out an bike this weekend

Online Jackin' with Manroulette

For the guy that wants to jack off with another guy, and wants the ease of jacking safely in the comfort of their normal online masturbatory spot, ie: office, den, closet, etc., then Manroulette is the ideal thing.

I just found this the other day, and just used it to jack off this Friday afternoon. It was really good, but started out slow. I didn't have the time for conversation online and maybe a cam to cam with anyone that I've done in the past. All one has to do is pull out your cock, get it hard, have a cam (though it's not absolutely necessary,) and get on the web site, and hit the start button.

There is a next button to go to the next cam, and I used it (a lot,) sometimes I might have been a bit premature, but eventually I saw a guys body, that was pleasing to the eye, and since he didn't click next, he must have thought I was also. After a few minutes, we came, gave each other the thumbs up and went on our merry way.

Why am I doing this? 001

Friends, specifically male friends.

Since college, I haven't had a guy that I could call a friend, the type of friend that would help me bury a body, so to speak. Having a guy that I could talk to about anything, do guy stuff with and generally hang out with is part of why I am doing what I'm doing.

In the past when ever I thought about talking to a guy I would always worry about saying or doing something that might be construed as being a "gay thing" and not developing a deep friendship with another guy. Since I've started down this road, anything that I might have been embarrassed about is generally what we do up front and center, so there is never going to be an awkward moment when a physical attraction to the male form is brought up between us as an awkward moment, its the reason that we've met in the first place.

Now; any friendship takes time and effort to develop, but having the time to sit around naked with a dude, while playing with my cock and it's as natural as if it were a socially acceptable and in public action, that's a good start.

Born This Way Parody by Weird Al

I'm not going to buy Lady Gaga's album, even though after seeing her in SNL I have a great deal of respect for her. Initially I just thought she was a manufactured pop star, and now I know that she orchestrated her own rise to pop stardom, and that is impressive.

But for Weird Al, I buy his albums, add to the fact that if the nuns at the grade school had dressed like him above, my life would be very different right now, also we share the same professional degree.

All the proceeds from the song will be going to the Human Rights Campaign, so there is a good cause to buy his parody.

PS. if you read his blog, the body that his head is digitally attached to belongs to Vlada Gorbaneva, while the contortionist body belongs to Marissa Heart. So don't be thinking that that is his body, and getting any ideas.

My Life of Crime?

Saw this body suit at at .com web site, things4fun. I would imagine that most people who read blogs like mine would think about how this could be used in some sort of sexual play, being anonymous, or something like that. I saw it and the first think I thought of was; I could become a super villain. Being almost inviable after dark, while planning that diamond heist.

For a few second there I had planned the perfect crime, the suit would contain all my dna, leaving no trace elements. I would wear shoes bigger or larger to throw off any footprint I would leave. I would carry some extra weight for the footprint depths, but also if I was spotted for any reason. But then I realize that I like my daytime job to much to jeopardize it for a few shiny stones, so it remains a passing fantasy.

Biking Weekend

It's hot out and gotta stay hydrated.

Sugar Daddy - I am not one

Got the question the other day if I was a sugar daddy. Wasn't 100% sure the exact definition of the word, though I had heard it before. So I headed over to Urban Dictionary and got the following definition.

sugar daddy	408 up, 56 down
	buy sugar daddy mugs, tshirts and magnets A man (usually older and well-off) who financially supports a younger woman (or man) in exchange for sex and companionship. "That car she's driving has 'Sugar Daddy' written all over it"

My answer was a quick and decisive no. I do not want anyone around me just because of money, I don't want to spend money for anything related to sex, so the guy went away quickly. I don't think I would rule out the possibility of hiring someone for a sexual role for a one time event, stripper, masseur, rent boy to carry my luggage around Europe while on vacation, that sort of things, but for a quickie, I'll take my left hand over someone that wants money at any time.

Nobody Smiles in Gay Porn

Looking at porn online and see how many guys have a smile on their face. I can't tell you how much, but when I see some guy with a smile, it stands out. Maybe it feels like the guys are friends and anything that is about to happen between the two of them is going to remain between the two of them (that is except for the camera recording everything.)

I don't know what the above image is from, but the guys look happen for what is about to happen.

Things I've Never Told Anyone - the peephole in the Latrine

Big family means lots of weddings, and they usually come in waves, as different kids and cousins age. This incident happened when I was about eight years old, I was a totally stupid when it came to anything related to sex.

The situation was this; wedding reception at a relatives house somewhere in the country. Knowing that there were going to be a lot of people at the reception, and that toilet facilities was going to be at a premium, an outdoor latrine was constructed for the guys to  relieve themselves. It was constructed up against one of the out buildings on the property, a pit was dug and filled with sawdust, and plywood was erected as a screen, so you stood on a piece of plywood and pissed on the sawdust, with your back to the outbuilding, get the picture?

During the course of the day I remember using this latrine several times, of course seeing other guys piss out of the corner of my eye, but never turning and staring. I do remember thinking that it would be interesting to stare, but I never did more than the casual glimpse.

Then late in the day, about 4pm, a bit of history here, the reception started about eleven am on a Saturday and was schedule to be complete till Sunday afternoon, so back now. I was running around in the yard and ran around the outbuilding with the latrine and notice a distant cousin or something, a male relative a year or so older than me squatted down with his nose to the outside of the plywood enclosure of the latrine. I remember stopping in my tracks and wondering what he was doing. He noticed me and when his head pulled back I could see that there was a hole in the plywood. He quietly gestured for me to come over and look through the hole.

Now mind you that at this point I didn't know what this plywood wall was for, I had only seen it from the other side, and as far as I knew this was a different plywood wall and there was a unicorn on the the other side. So I approached the hole and put my eye to it and focused on what was on the other side. To my horror, amazement, and gayness, there were dicks there, several to be exact, all in various stages of emptying out bladders. So no unicorn.

What I remember was that I wanted to see more, but at the same time I shouldn't be looking at these. Not that it was wrong to look at cocks, I was still uneducated on being anti gay at this point, as gay was not something I had an inkling of an idea about. I remember thinking it was wrong because I was spying on someone when they didn't know I was there. I remember wanting to watch the cocks some more, but I didn't, I ran away. I remember wanting to go back after dark and watch some more, but I didn't, I stayed away.

That was the day the I first saw a cock and something stirred in me that has taken the better parts of three decades for me to come to terms with.

My cousin from that day still lives not far from me, and while his side of the family is waiting on him to get married and have grandchildren, I have hear through the grapevine that that is not his plans, as he is looking for Mr. Right. I can't say for certain that its the same cousin, as I didn't have contact with that side of the family for the better part of the three decades, but I suspect that it was him that tricked me into looking through a hole in a plywood wall that has finally open a whole other world for me.

And for those out there who are thinking that I should let my cousin know what he did for me all those years ago, that ain't going to happen for many reason, the most superficial being that he is not my type. He has the more German European blood, while I'm from a later generation with more Irish blood, with maybe some African blood, as that would explain my large penis.

Second trip is a short time

I had a second trip out of town to another city, this time for a party of a friend of my wifes. The couple in question is a lesbian couple, so my mind was racing with all the possible stereo types and cliches that can fit a lesbian couple having a pool party. Thinking that most of the people there would be of the same sex attraction type of people, in a pool half naked anyway.

So my fantasy was that my wife or someone else would bring up the congressman and his tweet pic and my wife would mention, as she has before, that she wonders why everyone is calling that a large penis. At this point in the conversation the fantasy would be that several guys would suddenly become interested in the size of my cock, and try to get a peek at the size of my cock. It continued with turning them down, one after the other till finally I say that if its okay with my wife, I can show you. At this point in the fantasy everyone was going to be on the tipsy side of drunk with lower inhibitions, and my cock was going to exposed, fondled and eventually find it's way into a throat of a willing participant.

That was the fantasy, the reality was just like everyday life. There were husbands and wifes with their children, and if there were any gay guys there, and there might have I couldn't tell. I think my gaydar is about as helpful in pointing out gay guys, as a flashlight is to a blind guy. Hell, if I saw a guy just finish blowing another cock, and he told me he wasn't gay I would believe him, though it probably wouldn't stop me from grabbing the back of his head and guiding his mouth onto my cock.

Force the snuggle

Having a guys face pushed into my crotch area as I hold his head. The guys eyes are closed, other wise pubic hair was be all in them. His nose is just below my cock, his mouth is right at my balls, he damn well better try to be getting his tongue out and playing with my balls. I have to jack my cock carefully so that I don't scrape up the side of the guys head. This is a position that if seven month ago you told me that I would enjoy I would have told you "what, I don't know what your talking about." Cut to now and I can't get enough of it, having a guys face there, feeling his facial stubble brush against my thigh, thats nice.

Art

People need more art in their lives. There's not much to remember from the dark ages unless you like pestilence, and the black death, but the Renaissance is another matter. A period in history where some massive gains in human knowledge occurred and some of the greatest artist flourished. Art and knowledge go hand in hand, and that is one argument for spending public money through the National Endowment for the Arts.

I don't know if Van Gogh would be to happy with what his art has inspired here, but if someone knows his name that didn't before I would think that makes up for any jest at his art expense.

Saturday Biking

Never know what your going to be seeing along the road during a biking event. In a few short weeks the Tour de France (TdF) begins and something like this not to uncommon. For me this weekend, I'm going to be doing good if I can keep up with this guy for all of 100 miles.

For those not familiar with biking, the above photo is similar to the time trial stages of the TdF. The day were each rider leaves a check point at three minutes intervals and rides as an individual to make their best time. Notice that the rear wheel and handlebars are different that if this rider was in a group.

The Best Blowjob for Ever or till My Next One?

I have just experienced the best blowjob of my life. more than thirty minutes later, I 'm still in the afterglow and want to recored it for posterity.

It stared with a guy that had blown me before, good cocksucker, but for some reason haven't been seeing him much lately. While today he mentioned that he had a married friend of his who wanted to watch me get blown. I'm a bit of an exhibitionist so that was no problem. Though I had almost next to nothing on the other guy, the only worry I had was that I may know him. (I didn't.)

When I arrived, I walked in and was there before the other guy, but he was right on my heels. The other guy was probably in the parking lot wanting to scope me out before making a final commitment, understandable as the guy is more discrete than me. As we walked to the room where this was going to take place, nothing was said between me and the other guy. When we got to the room, the cocksucker immediately started with my pants, and getting my cock out. I took off my shirt leaned back and started to enjoy the blowjob. The other guy started to play with my nipples, which normally I don't enjoy, but I think now the pain/pleasure connection has been has been established for here on out. After using his finger for a second, he lowered his head. Now up to this point, this guy could be anyone you see in Sunday mass, yes he was dressed that way with was also a turn on for me, but then when his mouth met my left nipple, a connection was made between my nipple and my cock (what the hell have I got myself into) that started to put me over the top. It also helped that he was fingering my balls, while on my nipple, and the other guy on my cock.

After a few minutes, I told the cock sucker to lick my balls, this left my cock open and the other guy bent down and put my cock in his mouth. I pushed back on what I was sitting on to give better access to my cock, and the guy took the opportunity to move to my right side, and play with my nipple there. Then he moved behind me and played with both nipples and he was able to watch our friend, move my cock in and out of his mouth. At this point his pants were unzipped and his cock was at full mast and poking out of his white cotton briefs. I used this time to reach into his pants and play with his cock, and he took the time to and visit the tip of my cock some more.

After that he moved back onto my left and propped himself similar to me but bent over the get access to my cock, Now for few minutes already I've been doing everything I could think of to slow up the ejaculation, and with him at the top of my cock, I said that I was going to cum. He gave my dick back to the cock sucker and I was already cumming as the tip of my cock hit his lips. I had to pull him off my cock when it got to be to sensitive for what he was doing to me in him mouth. Then he switched to the other guy, but got there a bit to late to take his load, part of it hit the floor.

We cleaned up, zipped up, and left. I got the guys first name and a bit of his saliva on my cock, that was all.

Now as I finish this, it's been well over an hour since the encounter and I'm still feeling residual effects of the blowjob. I think this is something that I may remember for the rest of my life, or until I get another blowjob of that quality.

Trying to think of why this would be so memorable; two guys on my cock and balls, a fully dressed guy watching, come to think of the encounter, I was the only one with my shirt off and my pants around my ankles. I've never had two guys on my cock and balls like that, I need to make sure in the future people who suck my cock share with others. Maybe it was because I was comfortable with the first guy and the second guy was there just to observe, though when it counted, he jumped right in. Maybe it was because the second guy was dressed as if he had some authority, and I was having him suck my cock.

Damn I want more of this.

Update: Two hours later I was back over there getting another blowjob. The guy watching was a big part of the experience, we already penciled in a date for the next time, after his vacation.

Casual Day at the Office

Anybody know what type of work these guys are doing and if their company is hiring. That would be really cool to work in a place with this dress code. Maybe at times a bit distracting, but still really cool, that is unless gym membership is not part of the benefits package.

Conversation Killer

The quickest way to kill a potential hook-up on an online site is to say that your not looking for sex right now. I don't exactly understand why this is, but I have experienced it several time. I can understand being horny, and wanting to get fucked, but a bottom having a new cock in his ass all the time has got to be somewhat of a blur, not know who has fucked you in the past.

Personally I find that the first time I am sliding my cock in a guys ass, I'm a little bit of an idiot, and I don't want to have idiot sex, one after the other, thats not what I'm looking for. I find that when I with the guy three or four times, I'm more comfortable and know what the bottom is expecting and what I can get away with as a top on this guy. I know if I have him on his back that my cock is going to be exploring parts of his ass that really don't need to be explored, and that if I have the bottom in a certain position I can get in deep, pound like a jackhammer, and the bottom loves it.

So to all those guys that see the size of my cock online and think that they are going to be sitting on it that evening, all I have to say is that "it ain't gonna' happen." The worst is another married guy that only contacts me with he has a few hours free and tries to put a guilt trip on me, because I'm not at his beck and call, I've told the guy to fuck off in many more words.

The Business Trip and Closed Bathhouse

Recently I had a trip to New Orleans scheduled, and being in a different town I thought I might visit a bath house to see what it would be like. I don't think that I would have a problem walking around other guys with my towel over my shoulder, and my cock at half mast. I guess I'm a little bit of an exhibitionist when it comes to walking about naked in places where it's not out of the ordinary.

Which reminds me of the time in my college fraternity where during a portion of the initiation a Greek statue is needed, and usually is one of the guys covered in oil, and flour and placed behind a curtain. That's not gay to have a group of guys rubbing oil and flour all over another guys body is it? I was drunk and stupid at the time, so it wasn't like I popped a boner, but I do remember the excitement of people peeking at my naked body as I had to stand still for quite a while.

Anyway back to New Orleans, I looked online for the bath house information and knew where the location was, and made sure that I had a few hours that I could get away and not be noticed. As I was walking toward the bath house I was debating if I should go in or not, wondering if I was going to chicken out of joining a group of guys, naked, in a different city and see how much cum my balls could produce in an afternoon. I was determined, then I wasn't, but when it came to me being within sight of the front door, I was going to go in. Then as I approached the front door I noticed the chains around the handles, the place was closed and more permanent than for just the afternoon. So my decision was made for me.

I still think the freedom of movement walking around nude with other guys there is something that I would like to do one day.