Okay, I know someone out there it going to think I'm stupid for this, or that my reaction was asinine, or that I just need to get my shit together, but here is what I thought was weird the other night.
The situation was the Monday night poker game. There were two other guys there, one top and one bottom. We sat around for the better part of two hours, watching and making fun of "Dancing with the Stars." I subtly tried to get the night moving by stripping down to my underwear, didn't change much, then I positioned my cock poking out of the waistband of my underwear, and started rubbing the head, still not much reaction. So finally I dropped all the subtle pretense and just ask "when are we going to get started," well that got them moving along and shortly there were three naked guys in the room. (It is nice to know that I can hang out with other guys, strip down to my underwear and play with my hard cock, and it's no big deal.)
The part that I thought was a bit weird started when me and my buddy (the other top) were standing side by side and the bottom was on his knees taking turns on our cocks, and at times both of our cocks were in his mouth at the same time. I'm tweaking my nipples, I'm tweaking the nipples of my buddy, our cocks are side by side, rock hard, as another guy is taking them to town and down his throat. Then the weird stuff; my buddy started to nuzzle his face into the nape of my neck, and I'm standing there with my cock in a guys mouth, next to a naked guy and thinking that what he is doing is gay, while everything else is just something that guys do with one another.
So why am I in a situation with two other guys, that a year ago I would have though was full blown gay, thinking its somewhat normal and then he starts nuzzling my neck and I'm thinking "dude; stop it, that is so gay." The reason that he can nuzzle against my neck is that my head is thrown back in pleasure from the deep blow job that I'm getting from another guy. The other guy, in a few minutes, is going to be face down on the ottoman with my cock buried in his ass, and I'm thinking why the hell is my buddy acting gay?
I know that whole thing seems fucked up, how can I put myself in a situation like that and not think it's gay, but then when my buddy does what he did, and I suddenly think that his action is gay. So I don't need any judgment on this because I'm saying it's fucked up somehow, just more, putting it out there to let other guys know that not all sex with other guys is clearly defined.
Many years ago, one of the first times I went to a mens bar (gay bar), I remember noticing an anti-AIDS poster on the wall, and thinking "Yeah, so....., that applies to gay men only, not me" 25 minutes I was banging a guy (wearing a condom, though)
ReplyDelete"putting it out there to let other guys know that not all sex with other guys is clearly defined."
ReplyDeleteWhy does it need to be clearly defined?
I'm not being facetious. I'd really like to know why.
I'm saying that it doesn't need to be clearly defined.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is ex: your going to suck my cock and them I'm going to leave and maybe never see you again.
Sometimes it is ex: Having known someone for a while and to have something that they want more than you, but the other guy doesn't want to bring it up.
Amtop, you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteI have an old buddy. We were Jack off buddies in our teens, we blew each other in our early twenties and then again around the time of his divorce.
The last time we were in our early 40s, and the subject of sucking dick came up again.
I pitched a tent in my jeans, and Buddy responded and rubbed it and then hugged me and nuzzled my neck, and I was thinking, WTF dude! We're friends, not lovers, what the hell are you doing?
So, yah, like you, my perceptions changed, the line moves, the boundaries blur, and it's all part of the ride. Enjoy it.